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Worst of the Week

Family Guy on Fox

Christopher Gildemeister

Release Date: 1/22/2015

For women-hating, sexual dialogue, the Sunday, January 11th episode of Fox’s Family Guy (9:00 p.m. ET) is the Worst TV Show of the Week.

The episode opens with the Griffin family watching TV. Out of the TV comes an announcer’s voice saying, “Hallmark Original Pictures presents an instant family classic: ‘Summers With My Slow Brother.’” It is of course unsurprising that Family Guy’s writers would trash the Hallmark Channel, since that network presents programs that do not contain crass sexual innuendo, gory violence, bleeped profanity, or brainless non sequitur gags, and are inspirational, intelligent, and in good taste – you know, pretty much everything Family Guy isn’t.

Meg enters and states she is concerned about getting into a good college. Mom Lois says, “You’re in high school, sweetie. You should be much more concerned about your weight than your SAT scores.” (Literally a minute into the show, and Seth MacFarlane’s misogyny rears its ugly head. But then, what other sentiments would you expect from the man who sang “We Saw Your Boobs” at the Oscar Awards?)

Talking dog Brian urges Meg to take the SATs seriously, noting that “You could go on to do anything. You could be a doctor, an architect. Hell, you could even coach the Mighty Ducks.”

Cut to the first of the brainless non sequiturs: Meg coaches a hockey team.

Meg: “It's time for a formation they're not expecting.”

Player: “The Flying V?"

Meg: “No, the Stinky V."

Cut to newspaper headline announcing that the team won. Below the headline, another pull-quote reads, "Male viewers laugh while girlfriends angrily cross arms and say, 'I hate Family Guy'"

Ah – MacFarlane hits the trifecta! Brainless non sequitur? Check. Misogyny? Check. Crude reference to sex acts and genitalia? Check and double check. And bonus points for self-congratulatory narcissism posing as humor!

Whatever would America’s sex-crazed, adolescent potheads do without Seth MacFarlane to amuse them?

Then, it’s time for some obligatory racist mockery of African-Americans, as one of Meg’s classmates joins her at the lunchtable:

African-American Girl: “Wassup, mah sistahs? Oooh, ah aced dat down in a hot minute!”

Patty: “What the hell? Why are you talking like that?”

African-American Girl: “Sorry. I have family in town.”

Because, see, African-Americans ALL talk to one another in racist caricatures! Isn’t that hilarious? But not as hilarious as anti-Semitism – as Family Guy demonstrates with the next line:

Patty: “Find someone really smart to take the SAT for you in exchange for money.”

Nerdy boy: “Did someone say JEWISH?!”

Meg complains that everyone in her family is a moron. Another girl urges Meg to have her “hot mom” take the test for her.

Friend: “I said, how about your dog? He’s smart.”

Meg: “That doesn’t sound like what you said.”

Meg's Friend: “Your mom's so (bleeped f***king) hot!”

After more idiotic non sequiturs about mechanics and lube racks, Amazon, and 1960s British police officers (huh?), and toilet gags in which Brian urinates on a school locker and Peter shoves Brian’s face into his rear and farts on it (whispering, “For luck!”), the dog takes the SAT for Meg – and fails.

The family learns Brian has a brain tumor which makes him stupid. Eventually, Stewie talks Brian into getting his tumor removed by luring him to the doctor under false pretenses:

Stewie: “Hey, Brian. Wanna go see Dr. Hartman and get that procedure where you get two wieners?”

Brian: “Whoah! Hell yeah! That way when I watch Black Swan, I can aim one at Natalie Portman and aim the other at –“

Stewie: “Yes, yes. We all know who the other one was.”

After the surgery:

Peter: “Hey, Lois, guess what? I had them do that two-wiener operation on me.”

He lifts his hospital gown and gyrates his hips. His genitals are off-screen, but we hear something fall on the ground.

Peter: “Uh-oh. That was the original.”

All in all, it was a typical episode of Family Guy – except for the lengthy middle portion of the episode mocking stupid people – which undoubtedly insulted many of Family Guy’s biggest fans. In it, however, Peter did off offer the most succinct summary of Family Guy’s philosophy imaginable:

“IT’S FUN BEING STUPID! YA DON’T GOTTA WORRY ABOUT NUTTIN’!”

Like promoting sexism. Or racism. Or anti-Semitism. Or rape and child molestation or violence or hate speech. Or, for that matter, stupidity…all factors which combine to once again render Fox’s Family Guy the Worst TV Show of the Week.

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McDonalds sponsored this program, despite its promises to take its advertising in a more “family-friendly” direction. For more information, click here.