After months of reruns, the Fox broadcast network’s ADHD returned with some original programming last week. Unfortunately, the new content was just as bad as the old.
Modeled on (and from the creator of) Cartoon Network’s “Adult Swim” programming block, Fox ADHD is a horrifically graphic, ultra-violent, sexually explicit, and profanity-laden group of short programs Fox has brought to broadcast TV. Currently, the block airs after 11 p.m. (ET); but Fox Broadcasting Entertainment Chairman Kevin Reilly has vowed that “Ultimately, the goal is to grow and skim off the best of the best for prime time. I’d like to find the next Family Guy out of this block.” That plan – and the program’s content – offers ample explanation as to why Fox’s ADHD has been chosen the Worst TV Show of the Week.
As a “warm-up” for more extreme content to come, the program offered viewers “Five Things You Didn’t Know About Tyler, The Creator.” Tyler is shown in a grocery store whispering expletives to a child:
Tyler: “I say really mean (bleeped s***) to children when their parents aren’t looking, like (bleeped f***) you, you little (bleeped f***) you got (bleeped) spit in your (bleeped f******) bottle, you little (bleeped f***)!”
Far more disturbing was the show’s parody of Archie comics, High School USA. In this episode, the school is about to lose all of its funding, unless the gang can find a way to get test scores up.
Meeting at blonde bimbo Amber’s house, the gang (including racist and anti-Semitic stereotype “Blackstein”) discover that Amber’s super-intelligent, grade-school-aged brother has an answer to everything. While talking, the 7- or 8-year-old boy casually lifts his mother’s shirt and suckles at her breast. When the gang reacts in shock, Amber’s mother claims that breast-feeding increases intelligence (and drains away all her fat):
Wally: “How do you think I got so precocious?”
Mom: “The same way I got so skinny.
Wally: “By slurpin’ down the BOOB JUICE!”
Marsh (the show’s “Archie”) has an erection at the sight, and runs out of the room in embarrassment. Later, he discovers that he can lactate; and Blackstein, depressed because he never got to breast-feed (“My mother said it wasn’t kosher, and my dad said it wasn’t soul food”) suckles from his nipple.
Soon, the entire school is drinking Marsh’s breast milk, leading the new principal (a woman oh-so-painfully named “Cuntsler”) to test all the kids’ urine to see if performance enhancing drugs were used to improve the test scores.
Mr. Structor, who used to date the principal, asks: “Ugh. Are you still into that whole pee thing?”
Cunstler (sneering): “You never did like getting peed on, did you?”
This is the content Fox’s bosses plan to put on in prime time, in front of children. Is it any wonder that Fox’s ADHD is the Worst TV Show of the Week?
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