For pushing graphic sexual dialogue and profanity into every home with pay-TV, the Wednesday, June 3rd episode of VH1’s Walk of Shame Shuttle (9:30 p.m. ET) deserves recognition for being the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
For viewers of a certain age, VH1 was once MTV’s slightly older, more laid-back brother. While MTV (which, once upon a time, stood for “Music Television” and, wonder of wonders, actually played music) excelled in frenetic rock videos, VH1 was devoted more to classics and the lighter side of pop music. This was often visible in the more humorous tone of its programming, such as Pop-Up Video.
Sadly, as the years wore on, VH1 (like most cable networks) experienced “mission creep,” straying further and further away from its origins as a network devoted to music. In its “celebreality” era, VH1 inundated viewers with profanity-laden, tawdry sex-talk trash like Flavor of Love. And, while “celebreality” is now mostly a thing of the past, the tawdry sex mindset is what VH1 has plunged into ever deeper – first with its series Dating Naked, and now with Walk of Shame Shuttle.
Like its predecessors, Walk of Shame Shuttle deliberately rewards bad decisions with fame and celebrity on TV. By so doing, it trivializes tragic mistakes, and makes a life of sexual promiscuity look attractive.
The premise of the show is simple: a cab driver picks up and drives home women (and the show’s victims are overwhelmingly young woman) who have had a sexual encounter or “one-night stand,” thus sparing them the “walk of shame” of the title. During the ride, the victims are filmed, as the driver discusses the recent “hook-up” with them, usually in mocking terms which suggest that promiscuous sex with total strangers is commonplace and nothing at all to be concerned about or ashamed of.
Here are a few examples of the program’s raunchy profanity and vivid references to sex, as various passengers talk to the shuttle’s driver, Michelle:
Michelle: “Were you sleeping with Ray [your boyfriend]?”
Woman: “No. Pretty much everything…”
Michelle: “Have you basically done everything but sex?”
Woman: “But sex, exactly. I found this guy, he was really sweet, he happened to be a virgin. I called Ray, he answered and he heard everything when I was having sex with this guy. Like we had sex, full on.”
Michelle: “Wait, so he had a message on his phone of you having sex with a virgin?”
Michelle: “You wanted him to hear you have sex…”
Woman: “Yeah. I wanted him to hear.”
Michelle: “So, you met this big booty Asian?”
Man: “Yeah, and she’s like, ‘You go in the bedroom,’ you know, get relaxed. But then she walks to the room with her twin sister. She says, ‘Is your [bleeped **ck] big enough for two?’”
Michelle: “What are the physics of that? ‘Big enough for two.’ It’s not like a foot-long Subway that you have to like wrap in two separate bags.”
Man: “Well… I won’t get into specifics. I will just say that I obliged.”
Michelle: “Have you hooked up with a woman at the same time as one of your brothers?”
Man: “Absolutely. Yes, I have.”
A man discusses using a dating website.
Man: “You know, it was a lack of options, and I went on kind of just to have some fun, look for some sluts.”
Michelle: “Are you constantly trolling for sluts?”
Man: “You can tell if they’re weird by their pictures. You know, these selfies with their boobs out.”
Michelle: “So how do you know when you found a good slut you can take home to your mom?”
Man: “Well, that’s the thing. You don’t really take sluts home to your mom.”
Michelle: “You’re looking for sluts, but then if she has too much cleavage out, you’re not interested. I just met you and I know I’m driving you home, but you seem like a pretty twisted [bleeped] assh***.”
Michelle asks various passengers what they look for in a sex partner.
Man: “Snazzied up, but not too snazzied up where it screams ‘slut.’ ”
Kellyann: “White guys with big [bleeped **cks].”
Man: “Cleavage, you know, if you got it, then flaunt it. Just a little bit, not too much. I’m more of a butt guy.”
Walk of Shame Shuttle airs in prime time, and is rated appropriate for 14-year-old children – on a basic cable channel which is paid for by every cable and satellite subscriber in America. Don’t our children, and America’s consumers, deserve better than being forced to fund Walk of Shame Shuttle?
For foul sexual content, VH1’s Walk of Shame Shuttle is the Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
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