What’s worse than an MTV reality series? An MTV reality series starring stars of other reality series.
MTV is no stranger to the so-called “reality TV” format. For over 25 years (and 31 seasons), the teen-targeted network has shown endless iterations of its program The Real World, in which teens from diverse backgrounds move into a house together. Infamous for the teen protagonists’ non-stop drinking, profanity, sex, and occasional slap-fights, The Real World set the model for MTV’s “reality” shows, like Jersey Shore and its spin-off Snooki and Jwoww.
But now, even MTV has outdone itself. Not content to settle for a cast of nobodies acting obnoxiously, the network’s newest show Ex on the Beach features “stars” from other reality shows acting even more obnoxiously. In the course of just the first episode, the unlucky viewer experiences dialogue like:
- Angela: “I’m ready to get laid.”
- Faith: “He has no condom on, and I’m on my back, and my legs are up in the air.”
- Taylor: “I like a bad boy. Which is probably why I like, have a trail of douchebags just following behind me.”
- Victoria: “Angela and T barely even met each other, they’re like, ‘What’s your name? Oh, okay we’re gonna go have sex right now.’”
- Chase: “Look at me. How could you not wanna (bleeped f**k) me? Even *I* wanna (bleeped f**k) me!”
And then there is the veritable torrent of profanity that pours forth from the cast members’ gutter-like lips:
- Angela: “We’re all gonna be fighting over (bleeped s**t).”
- Chase: “I’ve been a (bleeped f**k) boy.”
- Pauli: “I am charming, mildly attractive, great (bleeped d**k).”
- Lexi: “You should’ve (bleeped f**king) had the balls to call me.”
Naturally, within the space of the first episode, these total strangers are shown making out having sex in bed together…and that’s even before their exes show up. (As per the premise of this sleazy show, each cast member tries to start a romance with their new housemates, only for a former lover to show up and disrupt things.)
If Ex on the Beach holds to the standard MTV pattern, there will be screeching, slap-filled catfights, drunkenness, non-stop profanity, and constant references to (and scenes of) cast members’ bodies and sexual actions.
Naturally, MTV rates all this as TV-14, suitable for young teens…in the full awareness that, despite its rating, children as young as seven or eight are likely watching with their older brothers and sisters.