• The Cool Kids: Neither Kids, Nor Cool

    by  • September 14, 2018 • Fox, Paleyfest 2018 • 3 Comments

    The Cool Kids

    Fox wastes a talented cast on raunchy toilet humor.

    At the Shady Meadows Retirement Community, cranky African-American Hank, flamboyant gay man Sid, and confused former addict Charlie consider themselves “the cool kids,” always looking for a way to subvert the authority of the home’s rule-obsessed manager Allison. But then comes Margaret, a free-spirited woman who effortlessly breaks into the “cool kid’s club,” and helps them learn how to be even more defiant – all in the pursuit of fun.

    Blessed with a brilliant and talented cast of old TV pros like Vicki Lawrence (The Carol Burnett Show, Mama’s Family), Martin Mull (Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman/America 2Night, Roseanne) and David Alan Grier (Martin, In Living Color, The Carmichael Show), The Cool Kids saddles these comedy legends with stale, foul-mouthed raunch. As might be expected from Fox (and from the show’s creator Charlie Day, co-creator and actor on FX’s execrable It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), sex, drug, and toilet jokes abound. A few typical examples:


    • Hank proposes a toast to a recently deceased friend. Sid worries about mixing alcohol with his medications.

    Charlie: “I once mixed six tabs of acid with hard cider. I still can’t eat apples fully clothed.”


    • Hank urges Sid to flatter Margaret.

    Hank: “Only a gay man can flirt with a woman these days. If I even bump into the side of a titty, I’m in jail for six years.”


    • Margaret and Sid swap stories.

    Margaret: “So I wake up on the floor next to a longshoreman, with a rubber tube in my hand. I wondered, ‘Did he get the                  enema, or did I?’”

    Sid: “I’ve been there!”


    • Sid complains about their deceased friend.

    Sid: “He used to replace my beta blockers with boner pills.”

    Charlie: “That doesn’t sound like a problem.”

    Sid: “It was to my poor little pecker.”


    Along with frequent foul language like “bitch” and “ass,” and loads of references to sex and drug use, The Cool Kids is exactly what one could’ve predicted if told, “Fox is making a new sitcom set in a retirement home.” There may indeed be some who think that wasting the immense talent and experience of this cast on such material makes the actors seem “cool;” but in this case, “cool” doesn’t equal “funny.” Parents are strongly cautioned to keep their own kids away from these alleged “cool kids.”

    The Cool Kids premieres Friday, September 28 on Fox.



    Christopher Gildemeister is the PTC’s Head of Research Operations. He began as an Entertainment Analyst at the PTC in 2005. From 2007-2016, he was Senior Writer/Editor, responsible for communicating the PTC’s message to the public through newsletters, columns, and the PTC Watchdog blog. Dr. Gildemeister holds a Ph.D. from The Catholic University of America.

    3 Responses to The Cool Kids: Neither Kids, Nor Cool

    1. Polisher
      September 16, 2018 at 7:38 pm

      I have a question. If you firmly believe this show has no redeeming value whatsoever, why are you advertising when its first episode will be televised?

      • Christopher Gildemeister
        September 17, 2018 at 9:40 am

        The purpose of the column is to inform readers. They can choose to watch, or not.

    2. September 15, 2018 at 3:54 am

      Better avoid The Cool Kids! Or as I will start calling it, The UnCool “Kids”!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *