warningUpset at being threatened by a bully and challenged to a fight, teenage Meg runs into the girl’s restroom. She finds pedophile Quagmire inside.

 

Meg: “What are you doing in here?”

 

Quagmire: “This is my base of operations.”

 

Quagmire’s phone beeps. Voice on phone: “Mr. Quagmire, the girl’s gym class will be in the showers in twenty minutes.”

 

Quagmire recounts being bullied by a girl when he was in high school.

 

Quagmire: “That was the beginning of a long, abusive relationship. It’s one thing if you put your penis inside-out in the safety of your own bedroom. But to have it done in the cafeteria? To this day, I can’t have sex with a woman against her will without thinking about rape.”

 

Quagmire offers to help Meg train to fight the bully.

 

Quagmire: “Over the years, I’ve studied the limits of the human body. How much it can stuff in, swallow, or choke on. How a scrotum can be stretched into a makeshift sail if stranded at sea.”

 

Trying to avoid the fight, Meg plans to get expelled. Meg posts a sex tape of herself on the Internet. She is shown lying naked with a pile of sausages next to her.

 

Meg’s baby brother Stewie watches his sister’s sex tape and exclaims, “Good for her!”

 

Quagmire gives Meg a glass which he says contains raw eggs, but which implicitly contains his semen.

 

Meg: “I don’t see any yolks.”

 

Quagmire: “Just drink it.”

Before the fight, Quagmire tells Meg, “Remember what I taught you.”

 

Meg: “Relax my throat and make eye contact?”

 

Quagmire: “No, no. The fighting stuff.”

 

After being beaten bloody, Meg “wins” the fight by pulling up her shirt and showing the bully her breasts. The bully recoils in horror.

 

Quagmire: “I’ve got a feeling you’re going to be around for a real long time.

 

Meg (voice-over): “But I wasn’t around for a long time. A year later, my body reacted to a frozen hot dog, and I died of septic shock. I became the face of internal hot dog defrosting.”

  

A billboard with Meg’s face, a package of frozen hot dogs surrounded by a “no” symbol, and the phrase “Remember how gross it was when Meg died?” is shown.